Hey James,
Before you get sick of all my mails to you, do you have some last advice for me? I know that Vedanta will never leave my mind and that knowing the truth will be my only goal in life.
James: What does last mean, Ken? I’m not sick of you. What advice do you want?
Ken: I don’t know really. After the relationship with Cathy my body just broke down and I got verry sick. Because of the high sugar levels my eye sight got damaged, my indigestion got confused and my mind tortured me with repeating thoughts about Cathy. For more than a year my days consisted of being sick all the time. I just wanted to be dead really, but I hung on to only thing that gave me hope and that was Vedanta.
I started eating extremely healthy and bringing the mind back to the Self over and over again. I am starting to heal a bit now. Last means that after this whole experience, what’s left is a humble boy that wants to base his life on truth and is grateful for having this teaching. It saved my life. If I couldn’t objectify my situation with Vedanta, I think I would have killed myself. Maybe I hope to hear some advice how to grow in confidence that I will be able to gain a free and happy life and I will turn out okay. Haha
James: I understand what you’ve gone through, Ken. Forget your idea of the “happy life. You are happy here and now when you are doing what is right for your soul. Commit yourself to your sadhana ever minute. You are very luck; you survived a dark night of the soul and realized that you can’t depend on someone else for love. Isvara brought Vedanta. What a blessing! There is nothing more to do than to appreciate yourself as you are. Count your blessings. Your life is as happy as the thought in your mind at the moment. Chant “God is great every minute.” Say the prayer below out loud often every day. Memorize it. There is no future better than now. Happiness is a choice. I love you.
Ramji
Oh Lord!
I surrender my fears and desires at Your feet.
I don’t see you apart from me but I recognize
You as the all-pervading Light that shines as
Consciousness in the Heart of all living beings
and as Existence in all insentient forms.
I also see you as the Divine Matrix of Laws
that order all sentient and insentient
names and forms into one benign whole.
My insensitivity to Your Divine Order
exists within your order itself.
The desires and fears, insecurities and angers
that well up from my past belong to this
sacred network of forces too. Both my surrender
and my resistance are within it too.
You are the one that understands me completely
as I am. Nothing I do, positive or negative,
surprises You. You are my best friend and my
best enemy. You validate my actions and my
reactions. In your eyes I am perfect.
Without self-criticism or blame for others I
dispassionately observe my strengths and
weakness and the strengths and weaknesses
of others every day. Everything that happens
happens by your grace. Knowing that I am
always held tightly by your loving embrace
I relax completely and enjoy.
