Dear Ram,
At a certain point in spiritual practice the dualistic distinction between Self and Ishwara is so important.  Seeing a person you are in love with like Josh can be perilous. Whereas seeing the creation and everyone in it as Self is a unifying truth.  All I can say to that is OOPS 😳.  It explains why my spiritual revelations would stop when he would reappear at my door.  I had to choose my own direct experience of Ishwara over seeing him as Ishwara if I was to continue to process all that I had heard in satsang in those days.
No mind meditation left me with no access to my intellect and I was very determined to do it well. And I did do it well, but it doesn’t shut down the Self so without my knowledge it was all there in my heart when I turned inward. So I would go out in the world and something would trigger some teaching deep within and I would experience this pressure in my chest. I would immediately go home and there would be very powerful integration between the worldly experience and the Truth. This went on for quite a while. I have never come across anyone else who has had a similar experience. I’m very grateful for that time in my life but I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone. Thank you Ramji for your deep commitment to Vedanta and the exquisite way you present it. 🥰
Ramji: Thank you. It was important for me to hear this after all these years,although our recent conversation at the seminar is vivid in my mind. You’re most welcome. It’s been a long journey and an important friendship.
Love,
Ram