Viktor: Dear Didi, thank you for your kind guidance and advice, especially when you say “Think opposite, as you gain nothing by indulging this need.” It makes complete sense, and I felt like I was making progress, but ALAS, I succumbed to my pleasure vasana twice in two weeks, and hence did not know what to say to you, as I myself am not able to explain how I fell into that mind trap and my body succumbed to that vasana…
Sundari: You are most welcome. Ask yourself: “Who is the ‘you’ that succumbed?” We don’t make ourselves the way we are. Isvara hands out our karma and conditioning, it does not belong to the jiva. But the only way to be free of it is to understand Isvara, the gunas and how they give rise to our binding vasanas. In this way, slowly and with determination, you just keep at it, applying the knowledge. When you succumb to the vasanas, say, “Okay, so I slipped up. I keep going and next time, I will be a little stronger, with Isvara’s help.”
Viktor: Having said that, I am not going to give up on it, and today have again started to continue to gather my thoughts, contemplate, self-enquire and discriminate… so as to stand up to my pleasure vasana…
Sundari: That’s the only way, Viktor. Nobody is doing anything. Trust the knowledge to remove ignorance and free you from bondage to the jiva and its bondage to objects.
Viktor: The positive I take out of this is: only through Vedanta (self-observation) did I realize that pleasure vasana was proving to be a major barrier for me in my life and my quest to understand reality or I was never to know.
Sundari: Acknowledging the binding vasanas is the essential first step, you won’t get anywhere to dissolve the conditioning unless you can see what it is. The next step is not to own it, but to stand strong in the understanding that to be free of it may take some determination, and of course commitment to keep self-inquiry. Self-inquiry, if it is done right, is the application of self-knowledge to your life as a jiva. Moksa is freedom from the jiva AND freedom for the jiva.
Viktor: Although I am still suffering from this vasana, at least by the grace of God and Vedanta I am aware of when I suffer, how this vasana makes me suffer. I am able to observe my suffering and also know the solution.
Sundari: Excellent. Never beat yourself up about anything. The pleasure vasana is built into everyone. It is a tough one!
Viktor: As you very rightly said, I really gain nothing by indulging in it, and to make matters worse, my mind takes complete control of my pleasure senses and I feel like I become a slave to my mind till until that moment of pleasure ends.
Sundari: Yes, indeed. That is the essence of bondage and of suffering, which is why we want to be free of it.
Viktor: Thank you, Didi, I will continue my quest and continue standing up to my desires.
I also found the link to the Dayananda Sarasvati text on values, will download and go through it…
~ Om and prem, Viktor
Sundari: I’m always happy to help, Viktor. Remember that moksa is about depersonalizing the jiva. If you are worried about what people think of you, you are reinforcing the importance and of and bondage to the jiva.
~ Much love, Sundari
