Clara: Dear James, I recently read your satsang entry The Complete Teaching and of its necessity for the Western mind or student. I was going to email you to relay my recent standstill, as I find that I have a comprehension of your teachings and yet certain behaviors remain intact and I question them. It leaves me quite humbled and again acknowledging Isvara and karma in this phase or state for the jiva.
And I occasionally am aware of my Self in those moments, and only have gratitude for that as awareness. It would seem to me that my focus would be to requalify with a commitment to the values as laid out so well in your book and by Dayananda.
James: Yes, understanding Isvara and karma is the key to freedom from the jiva and for the jiva. It is Vedanta’s most difficult topic. Krishna says, “About the topic of karma even sages are perplexed.” It is indeed humbling. Normally, the daily practice of karma yoga takes care of unspiritual behavior patterns because it prescribes daily practices that supplant negative behavior patterns. The requalification is simply continuing the karma yoga practice, assuming you are practicing it correctly. So yes, commitment to values analysis is certainly part of it. One doesn’t really hear the teaching properly until the mind is prepared by karma yoga. But it is common for people to practice the first part – right action – and not the second part – right action.
Your statement, “And I occasionally am aware of my Self in those moments, and only have gratitude for that as awareness,” is a case in point, unless I don’t understand what you mean by “aware of my Self,” because you, meaning the Clara jiva, can’t be aware of your Self. You are always aware as the Self.
Clara: But maybe spending time with you as my teacher would be best? I do keep wondering if my “mistake” is the ignorance of misidentifying with the jiva and that I could be letting the behaviours be there and to have prasad for seeing them?
So I am back to questioning my choice to attend your Spain session for the first week or whether a Skype session with you may be once again in order. I am also looking at Trout Lake. Sending so much gratitude and love to you and to the lineage.
James: Now you’re onto something. Yes, the mistake is identifying with the jiva, not identifying as the Self, because you are only aware as the Self in the first place. The non-eternal jiva is inert, so it is not aware. The eternal Jiva is non-different from the Self. You needn’t come to Spain to get this problem sorted, although attending the seminar at Suryalila would certainly be useful. We can sort this problem with a Skype chat and you can save yourself a lot of effort and expense. Trout Lake will be the same teaching – The Complete Teaching – and it will be cheaper and easier. I recommend it. I always come a few days ahead so we can satsang then if necessary. So let’s work out a time and have a chat.
Clara: Your email landed so nicely in me! I had a sudden switch in comprehension regarding the jivawhen you mentioned it was inert. I think I always knew it to be so, but suddenly it made perfect sense. I am only Self – as is everything else. It was like a new dawn and I have been smiling ever since. It is taking a bit for my mind to let it in, meaning I seem to be on the edge of comprehension and then it lands again. I cannot be “in relation to the Self,” as I am already Self. The “I” that I think would be in relation, or getting anything, is inert and as such is not real. Self is all there can be or is!
I have been aware of the thought that I still wanted something to occur or change, but I also knew that I was Self, but there was still a thought that the I needed to? – I am not even sure what, actually? Good heavens, what a delight!!! Ignorance and its veils parting due to Vedanta and to the time and care you give.
As for karma yoga and the continued devotion and care, I would love to talk to you more, and will certainly make time for a Skype call. I’ll send the donation right away. It would be lovely to connect again.
I will also plan on attending Trout Lake and maybe renting some camping gear and enjoying nature.
Thank you so much, James.
~ Much, much love, Clara