Diana: Thank you so much for sharing the teaching on the process of self-inquiry and what it takes, Sundari. It speaks directly to the heart of the matter and will hopefully help others to see how this tricky mechanism of ignorance works and how nididhyasana is the appropriate sadhana to deal with it, once you understand not only who you are but also how Maya operates. In the light of Self-knowledge, there is only a burning desire to fully flush out those demons and bask 100% in the glory of Brahman.
It has been an interesting time since I wrote to you. The revelation of the Duryodhana Factor operating in me that I saw and wrote to you about has had profound effects on my sense of relaxation and ease in the world. Sometimes we don’t know that some tension is there until it’s not! I had known something was there for a long time but had not been able to identify the exact belief that still held sway under certain circumstances. Now there is a relaxation with myself that is a direct result of that seeing.
Sundari: That is for sure! So glad to hear this Diana, good for you! Thank you so much for your feedback on the Duryodhana Factor Take 2 satsang I posted, which was the exchange between you and me on the first satsang by that name I posted some months ago. As you say, and I said too in my satsang on this issue, it is amazing how painful even a small residue of ignorance is. There is no way but through when it comes to moksa.
Diana: During the last couple of weeks, I was tested. My oldest daughter holds some deep hurt and resentment from her experience growing up that she is still “processing” and needs to voice this from time to time. Which is obviously potentially very triggering for any part of me that is still identified with the past. This time I was able to be with her, let her talk, and just feel compassion and love without any of the hooks snagging in my mind as has always happened in the past. I can freely watch the transactional jiva in her role as mother! A great relief.
Sundari: I am so happy for you. Parenting is the toughest job for a jiva, and nobody does it perfectly. There are few greater emotional hooks than those we have with ‘our’ off-spring. All jivas are flawed by their very nature, they are made that way by Isvara. Everyone makes mistakes and suffers when Maya covers the mind. Thus, all jivas have issues where they have ‘failed’ themselves or ‘others’. How can it be any other way in crazy upside-down mithya, this Alice in Wonderland Mad Hatter weirdo world? What is even more amazing is that any of us make it out sane at all! Isvara is pretty enthusiastic about keeping ignorance as thick as possible…Hooray for Vedanta! And good riddance to the jiva. What a burden it is to live with it, and how utterly wonderful it is to simply observe it with (or without) interest?
Diana: I have had a few thoughts about nididhyasana that I wanted to share with you to see what you thought. I am enjoying writing down my thoughts as it reveals if my understanding is accurate. As I’m sure you know, writing accurately about this subtle knowledge is both challenging and revealing.
The practice of nididhyasana is the means to shift the jiva’s identity from the ahamkara, body, mind, sense organs package, to its true identity, JivAtman or Isvara as Pure Awareness, one without a second, whose essence and human experience is nondual love. This is also what the scriptures describe as the shift from indirect to direct knowledge. In order to do this, Ramji’s advice is to make a practice of taking a stand in Awareness as Awareness (not as the ego), which is a conscious act by the student to pay attention to where the mind lands in its identification. And if necessary, to make a choice to shift the identification to Awareness by practicing the opposite thought.
This practice is viveka (discrimination) since without viveka there is no distinction possible between the subject and the object, the me (jiva/ego) experience, and the objects appearing in me (Self)). Gradually over time, the ahamkara is more clearly seen to be an object appearing in me. At first, this comes and goes – in what is described as a firefly experience in which I am the Self – no I am not the Self – yes I am the Self…..is the experience of the jiva as the knowledge firms up and flips between direct and indirect Self-knowledge.
This is because for most people there are many many thoughts (vrittis) passing through the mind that still carry meaning/hooks for the apparent jiva and therefore distract the attention to themselves, with all the accompanying emotional baggage and doership. As Self-knowledge takes root, these discrete thoughts are observed more and more to be the gunas (universal vasanas), always changing and not belonging to me. I see that the unique jiva I once thought myself to be is the universal jiva manifestation of Isvara, Pure Awareness. As Awareness becomes established as direct knowledge, a peaceful mind is discovered that is not in any way affected by changes in the mithya reality (gunas) and a sense of limitless freedom and relaxation begins to manifest.
Dependence on a satya mind state lessens as the mind becomes increasingly and naturally identified with its true nature as non-dual love. This may seem to be the final resting place for the student who feels for the most part very happy. But unless the identification has permanently and irrevocably shifted, there is always the possibility that some dark traces of ignorance as deep, ancient, and insidious tamasic residues (samskaras) can emerge from the Causal body and apparently split the one into two (Duryodhana Factor) causing all hell to break loose. The wise being seated firmly in Self-knowledge will never take anything for granted and will know that vigilance must be maintained in this uncharted territory until the physical body has completed its cycle this lifetime. Isvara does not allow another option.
In summary, first, there is subject and object, as in dualistic ignorance/samsara. Then there is a realization of the Self and the discovery of Vedanta (sravana and manana) which begins the process of discrimination of satya (always present and unchanging) from mithya (not always present and always changing). Through nidihyasana and the understanding of Maya, eventually reverses the subject and object (viparyaya) allowing subject and object to be understood as One. They always have been in fact, one non-dual Existence shining as ever-present Awareness. Maybe this is too simplistic, but it seems so simple in a way.
Sundari: You always express yourself so clearly and are spot-on not only about the stages of self-inquiry but that they all boil down to standing in Awareness and discriminating between satya and mithya, one thought at a time. It is laborious and not always fun, but there is no other way forward if freedom from bondage to the limited jiva construct is our burning desire.
This is the ‘work’ of self-inquiry, and I could not have written it up better. Your take on the process is faultless and I will post it with only a few minor changes and additions. I can already feel different energy coming through you, how the jiva is objectified and you are OK with it. The most telling change is in the exchange you had with your daughter—as the dispassionate Witness unaffected by her process, a very big shift. The diffidence that was part of the gentleness persona is firming up in the full confidence of Self-knowledge. Way to go, high five!
As you say though, Isvara sure does not make it easy on us poor inquirers, even when we have become finders. I just wrote this to another inquirer today:
Complete freedom from the jiva comes with the grace of Isvara and consistent application of the knowledge. Once you know without a doubt Who and What you are, the scripture has done its job. You do not need a map when you are the destination. Yet, it’s not quite so simple. Hence, though we are never not the Self, we surrender to Isvara with no reservations…dakshinamurtiyaa namaha…until the jiva is as good as non-existent.
And that, dear friend, takes as long as it takes!
So, what else to ‘do’ as a non-doer but to sit back on the Vedanta bus and take a nice little snooze, knowing there is no way you cannot get where you are going because you already are there…
Thank you for this great contribution. It’s brilliant. If you want to write more for SW, please do. We will post it under your name if you like. Or not, either way. It is just so helpful for others on their journey.
Love you
Sundari
