Don: Dear Guruji, how to thank you? Since the retreat in Suryalila, “my heart” has been singing – all is Isvara!
Looking back over “my” life, I see there’s been a relentless pull, a drive to keep searching, but it’s not until now that I understand what that drive really was. Although Self-knowledge was my stated goal, I didn’t really know what that meant, so I pursued one experience after another, listened to one authority after another, read books and did prostrations, but all to no avail. Then came Vedanta. Thank God! The fundamental error was corrected and now all that seeking makes sense. Perseverance indeed furthers! The Self wants the Self and to hell with the jiva!
The realization that nothing is missing reveals existence as complete, and resting in that knowledge brings peace. The more I “see” that all is me, the more Love “reveals” itself. Knowing without a doubt that ALL experience is only apparently real is like seeing Maya holding up tempting images to test your knowledge: “How about this, do you like this? How about this one? I’m sure you’ll love THIS ONE!” Understanding that all thoughts and feelings are as transparent as bubbles gives confidence. Seeing that fact removes all ideas of identity, like blowing away shadows. Don’s life is like a house of cards, each card with a face of who he thought he was, the “good boy,” the athlete, the seeker, the husband, father, man, with all the cards propped on each other, supporting the belief his life is real. Seeing the impermanence of thoughts and feelings, recognizing the temptation of urges rising from the causal body, and “returning” to the knowledge I am complete, I lock onto the “hum” of awareness. There is the peace that has nothing to do with anything that’s apparently happening. There’s nothing wrong, nothing to do and nowhere to go. It suddenly makes complete sense. I rest in me. I am complete just as I am.
I love you, you are me. I bow before you.
~ Om, shanti, shanti
