Michael: Just want to express how grateful I am for the teaching and your work in bringing it to humanity.
Listening to Ram at Trout Lake this morning was washed in a soft way with a sense of “what else is there to do?” and that it takes its time to unfold. Like waiting and watching for something which is inevitable, known yet unrevealed.
The Jiva does get scared, but it seems clear now why – it hangs with its senses into the future straining. Expecting to become part of something, yearning – yet somehow also knows this will never happen. Stuck, hung by its own nature.
The knowledge that it is the thing itself which is ignorance is scary; that it can never know itself in the way the Self does. That the Jiva itself never changes and it appears will be stuck forever as a Jiva.
Staring out from itself not in its own light, itself dark and alone yet not alone. Surrounded by light. But it can never be its own companion and in a sense dies in the knowledge of the Self. It is still there but somehow gets its jurisdiction removed? Happily, sadly. What can I say ?
Like some strange continuous spoiler in a film, it still watches the film and still tries to believe it is new, even when it turns out the drama was always known, again.
This may explain why Jivas are not usually good collectives on their own without the knowledge of the Self.
This might go on for decades but that is ok!
Thank you from the heart,
much love,
Sundari: Thank you for this beautiful email and your feedback, much appreciated. I am sure James will write to you too, but I thought I would reply to a few things, though I know you no longer need teaching, as such. I find your writing evocative and touching about the final stage of self-inquiry, nididhysana, which is the hardest. I think most inquirers would relate to the poignancy of your description of it. Even with Self-realization, there is often a strange sense of sadness and loss for the ego when confronted with the implacable truth of nonduality. How can one still defend the insubstantiality of the ego identity when you know it is not you and not real? But as ignorance is hard-wired, as jivas, we can be a sentimental and stubborn lot. Negating the ego can seem like we are giving up something important, even though the identification and attachment have caused us suffering and kept us small and limited. Your statement that the jiva ‘can never know itself in the way the Self does. That the Jiva itself never changes and it appears will be stuck forever as a Jiva’ reveals that there is still some identification with the jiva.
How can the jiva know itself if it is merely a construct, a chimera belonging to Isvara which is nothing more than a guna-generated program not unlike a character in a movie, as you point out? It does not and cannot know anything. All knowing happens by virtue of the presence of you, the Self. You can’t be the Self and the jiva, obviously, there aren’t two entities in a nondual reality. So, it’s a question of who is it that knows what.
If you are truly free of the jiva and free as a jiva, you are not ‘stuck’ being the jiva. Free and unlimited means there is no conflict between what belongs to the jiva and to the Self because the conceptual egoic jiva with its story of longing, uncertainty, and regrets is known to be just an idea appearing in you, the ever-present Self. There is no charge attached to the idea, it is a burned rope. Satya and mithya never meet because they were never apart. You must have heard James say this countless times but maybe you need to let the truth of that statement really sink in. When it does, there is no separation between the knower and the known. There is no better companion than the fullness of the Self.
When you know you are the Self, there is no satya and mithya, for you, anymore. The jiva ‘becomes’ satya because it was satya all along. From that perspective, everything is real because everything is you, though you are not it. What remains is just ISNESS, the direct experience of Existence as your identity. The conceptual (apparently real) jiva no longer troubles you (even if it seemingly has troubles) though it continues to function as a seemingly discrete entity with a peculiar kind of nature and reality. The apparent jiva is honoured as such but known to be as good as non-existent, a mithya mirage cooked up by Isvara. I know you know all this, and it is preaching to the converted.
However, your comments about the jiva need some addressing. There is no ‘jiva collective’ unless you mean by that there is only one jiva one story, one Self. Without Self-knowledge, this is not known and the jiva is stuck in duality believing itself to be separate incomplete, and thus suffers. As an inquirer, if the fruit of Self-knowledge, perfect satisfaction is firm, the jiva is noticeable mainly by its absence. But if your primary svadharma is self-inquiry, and you know you are the Self, yet you are not experiencing the radiant guilt-free happiness that Self-knowledge implies, then you are not following your nature properly and self-inquiry is incomplete. Many advanced inquirers are stuck at this point of self-inquiry. You may be level-headed, honest, and objective about your jiva self (as you are) and not hiding anything from yourself, but there can still be something hidden from you.
The ‘hidden’ factor is what taking a stand in the Self as the Self actually means. It is common for advanced inquirers to fail to see that though they know they are the Self, they are still ‘outside’ Self-knowledge. The Self is still objectified because they have not made the connection that though the egoic jiva is an object known to the Self, the eternal Jiva is the Self, Jivatman. This is a tricky one, and the most subtle part of the teachings because all along you are taught to negate the jiva. But, which jiva is negated? The conceptual jiva.
As James often points out, if you look at a photograph you don’t see the camera in it, yet the picture doesn’t exist without the camera. There simply cannot be a Jiva without the presence of the Self. This presence is completely ignored in most people’s narrative, yet it is the Self with a big ‘S’, that makes the narrative possible. Once moksa obtains, the Jiva that the narrative focuses on is not an actual person; that person is known to be an abstraction. The conceptual identity you previously took to be real is completely subsumed and has ‘become’ what it always was, the Self, Jivatman. Nididhyasana is making sure that your life as a ‘small’ jiva is synchronized with your identity as the limitless ever-present Existence/Awareness, the eternal Jivatman.
So, the penultimate stage of enlightenment is taking a stand in Awareness AS Awareness, no fine print. How else is the Jiva going to reclaim its true limitless nature? The Jiva—the eternal individual—is non-separate from the Self; that is the non-dual teaching. Obviously, in the story, the jiva can’t claim anything because it is just a conceptual person. But the sentient person, the eternal Jiva who is telling the story, can own up its true identity and gain the fruit – perfect satisfaction – if he/she does their svadharma i.e., applies Self-knowledge. What does this look like?
It looks like dismissing the limited notion of yourself with the correct notion, which is, “I am not jiva; I am limitless unborn non-dual unconcerned actionless ever-present Awareness.’ In other words, including your Self (dharma with a big “D”), along with jiva and its story, which is just a bunch of thoughts. The Self thought should be the dominant thought. It is hard work and why we say that eternal vigilance is the price of freedom.
Even after moksa, the jiva will still have a particular way of relating to Isvara, which will be unique to its Isvara-given nature. But because there is no longer a doer, all projections instantly dissolve in Self-knowledge. Whatever unfolds for the jiva is immediately seen in the light of Self-knowledge, the default position of the mind. As the jiva is a product of the gunas and is always subject to Isvara, the jiva is never going to be perfect nor expected to be. Life will still give the jiva lemons, but so what? Lemonade is good too. The jiva and its life improve by default when Self-knowledge obtains, but that is not the aim of self-inquiry. The aim is to remove ignorance and so end suffering which can only be achieved when the conceptual jiva is negated.Â
I hear a kind of nostalgia and sadness in your writing about the jiva, perhaps the remnant of a thought that something in its story could have been different. Most of us have to go through this phase. Life never works out the way we think it will on the jiva level, all life stories contain a fair deal of loss and regret because all jivas are flawed. How can they not be, given that they are born in ignorance of who they are, filled with unrealistic expectations and burning desires? Maya can be pretty unforgiving, thank God for Self-knowledge! May it bring you the complete resolution of the jiva in You and the total acceptance and perfect satisfaction of the Self.
Much love
Sundari
