Dear Ramji
I do not have anything special to share and at the same time: I do!
I am FREE. Who is free?! Did I say free like FREE?! Yes! I am free of the one who is writing. The writing is being written. The jiva is being “lived”. How cool is that?
I feel quiet, relaxed, content. Often blissful. Mostly just “content”. Wow! Really cool.
The “rushing” stopped. The searching, the need to grasp more of the teachings, to study MORE, the wanting, the idea of moksa (and all other the ideas), the big spiritual experiences seemed to have stopped. Even the idea that something needs to be said, shared or explained is not there anymore.
I read Vedanta every day with great joy. I do not “need” to read the scripture. It’s beautiful and very enjoyable to focus on the truth though. I enjoy the silence, walking in the forest next to our house, a cup of tea and my own presence. I enjoy seeing life unfold, without feeling the “pressure” that comes from thinking that I am responsible for the happening. What a relief!
Life is mostly quiet and harmonious. The kids are good. They are happy, enjoying their lives. I do not have much to do anymore. Just accompanying the kids as they continue to grow up. Incredible how perfectly everything accommodated for my little jiva. Life has been so generous to my “me”! Finding Vedanta and you was incredible. I ask myself how the life of this person without these teachings would be. It would be miserable!
I am. That’s it. As simple as that. All of a sudden it is just clear. Nothing “happened” and this impacted everything else. What changed?! The fear, the anxiety, the expectations are not there anymore. I am unaffected by the “apparent happening of life”.
The standpoint changed. From being a person to being reality/existance, containing the jiva and everything else appearing “in me”.
The person, the doing, the happening are still “occurring”. Because that’s the way things are for the person. Once the ball starts rolling, it rolls all the way down the road, until it eventually stops for good. The life of a jiva could be compared to a snowball being affected by gravity. It rolls and rolls until it hits the bottom of the mountain. Then it stops and that’s the end. That’s it’s end.
The thoughts appear in the mind. I see them. I am either the mind not it’s thoughts. How cool is that?! That’s so freaking enjoyable. To see how the mind goes to all those different places and I don’t. I don’t go anywhere. I contain all those processes but I am not them. I don’t get contaminated or mixed with any of them.
I am not the happening either.
“Playing to be jiva” gets to be funky at times. Sometimes really funny.
Sometimes the mind identifies with something. That’s ok.
Everything remains the same in “my life” and yet I am free of my mind, thoughts, feelings, time, events…
The apparent limitations and the suffering, the struggle and the wanting, the binding desires… All that seemed to have stopped. Ramji, this is so cool.
I am shining, love, forever.
I love you. Thank you for all these years of love, light, patience and these wonderful teachings.
Judy
Dear Judy,
Finally! You’ve been seeking for a long time and now the seeker is gone. Your email brings tears to my eyes! God is great! You are great! Vedanta is great! I love you.
Ramji
