Stan: Dear Sundari, thank you for your last email.
I hope you are well.
It has been an interesting time.
Sundari: All is perfect and could not be better!
Stan: Letting go of desires reveals fears – two sides of the same coin.
The fear drives you to the desire. The desire masks the fear – leaving it unexamined and unresolved. Karma yoga cuts through that.
It is difficult living with fears but if you do then you see they are all based in belief that I am this jiva. Fear of abandonment and death seem to be at the base of it all.
Sundari: Yes, absolutely, fear and worry are jiva’s constant companions if duality deludes the mind. It’s inevitable because jiva is not in control of the objects or of results. It lives in a constantly changing field of constantly changing objects, how could it not be worried and afraid that it won’t get what it wants or lose what it has?
Stan: On the surface, life is going well – business is flourishing; I have more offers than I can accept, people love and praise me constantly.
I am seeing in sharp relief the internal negative dialogue: “You are no good, you are weak, you are bad, you are a fraud.”
I know also, at least in this life, where all this comes from. These ideas are accompanied by strong feelings and mental pictures which make them compelling, but it is getting easier to simply hand them back to Isvara and remind myself of who I am. My partner and I are still together, and the relationship is changing.
There is a relaxation, greater honesty and a strong flow of love. We watched the guna talks and reread the book together, and increasingly discuss ourselves and each other in terms of gunas! It did seem impossible that we would remain together but dropping the idea of remaining together and concentrating on the teaching paradoxically has resulted so far in the problems between us melting considerably.
There are so many positives here – we are both committed to moksa, we are both studying the teaching, we are both aware of the futility of success in the world. There is love and the fun is returning.
I have no idea what will happen and to be honest it doesn’t matter – it is up to Isvara. It is just day-by-day sravana, mañana, nididhyasana. Thank you, thank you for your teaching and encouragement.
I am still looking forward to your book.
Sundari: Thank you for the very positive feedback, Stan, I am very happy for you that the knowledge is translating into your lives and paying dividends, which it never fails to do so if we stick with it. Good for you. It is quite amazing that the negative ideas jiva has about itself are so hard to eradicate, but there is the power of Maya for you. It will play out its Hollywood projections of hell in the mind if we do not manage it with knowledge. How cruel and contrary to the truth the belief in duality is – it spawns the ridiculous idea, seemingly etched in stone, that we are flawed and unlovable. Yet it has no more reality than any thought and is total poppycock to boot. The proof that the teachings are working for you is in the growing dispassion and discrimination in your life and relationship. Love reveals itself as always present only when we stop seeking it, never before.
~ Sending you both much love, Sundari
