Dearest Ramji,
Could you clarify for me the following?
On page 21 of your Yoga of Love text, you write: “We are conditioned to believe that love is a special state or a special feeling. But it isn’t. It is the nature of consciousness, my self (anandam).” You have also repeatedly referred to love as attention, wherever we direct our consciousness, which is more like cit than anandam–though both are my self, of course.
I know that ultimately sat-cit-anandam are word-pointers for the indescribable. But in ordinary life, “love” has a certain warm-heartedness aspect of some sort of nondual goodwill mixed with joy (when unblemished by attachment). Is this clean nondual warmheartedness aspect “part” of that which sat-cit-anandam is trying to point to? I would think so, but I turn to you for clarification.
Thank you so very much,
Marie
Ramji: Love is not a special state. Love is your nature. I am love! You need to be able to say “I am Love” and know it means “I am whole and complete and I don’t need anything.” Then your desire to be loved will go.
That doesn’t necessarily mean you won’t have a love relationship. In fact, you will probably get inundated with requests for one because people want to be around people who are not needy. If you fall in love with somebody, you don’t want to satisfy their desires all the time, do you? No! You want them to satisfy yours! Self-contained people don’t like needy people and needy people don’t like needy people because they are unattractive.
Marie: Now, the question is coming down to reflective awareness: “You have also repeatedly referred to love as attention”.
Ramji: Attention is reflected consciousness/awareness. So whatever you willingly pay attention to is love. The word consciousness (chit) is different from love (anandam) but they are non-different just as the word existence (sat) and the word consciousness (chit) both refer to the Self, which is the sat-chit-ananda atma (the existence/consciousness/love self).
Marie: I know that ultimately sat-cit-anandam are word-pointers for the indescribable. Indescribable means me. I’m not describable. You can point at me, but you can’t say what I am. Why? Because there are no words that are big enough to encompass what I am. Words are limited. They direct me to certain things, but they don’t direct me to Everything That Is—unless I take their implied meaning. But in ordinary life, ‘love’ has a certain warm-heartedness aspect” yes … “of some sort of nondual goodwill mixed with joy (when unblemished by attachment). Is this clean nondual warmheartedness aspect ‘part’ of that which sat-cit-anandam is trying to point to?
Ramji: It does have a warm-hearted aspect: good will, generosity, kindness and affection are all words that indicate that nondual self is functioning through a subtle body that is basically sattvic. It is it is good if you have that, but we want to go even beyond that sattvic warm-hearted aspect to the nondual bhakti, which is free of the gunas.
Marie: I need to get beyond that warmhearted feeling. This is why sometimes I need to receive tough love, that would be rajasic-tamasic. Sometimes love is very cruel: sometimes you need to really be whacked and hurt. And that is a very difficult love to accept.
Ramji: In chapter 11 of the Bhagavad Gita, when Arjuna starts to see the violent manifestations of Isvara’s love, he says “Oh, sorry, I can’t go there. Please go back to the sattvic side. I just want you as a groovy, friendly” presence in my life. I don’t want you as Everything That Is.”
But one need not worry about it because you wouldn’t have chosen those fearful, ugly, dark things that you feel. It is Isvara, your conditioning. Give it back and accept it! And stop trying to be perfect! Stop trying to look good, impress people!
Many spiritual need people to think they are really holy and good and smart but there are other parts to one’s character too. The need to impress is there because you’re not impressive to yourself. There are things you are ashamed of. A pure mind has no secrets.