Lee: I am very blessed by your friendship. Who knows what Ishwara has in store for us? In the meantime, I am grateful we have the means to share and send our love with words. I liked what you said about the mind, it is a strange object indeed. It is cool to see this mind’s reflection through my spouse and children – they tease me about its ramblings, inquisitiveness, and distraction. Quite amusing for us all (LOL).
Sundari: I treasure your friendship too. You made me laugh the way you described your family’s take on ‘your’ mind! It is indeed interesting to see the mind’s reflection especially in those closest to us. Even though there are no others, it is Isvara’s way of shining starkly on the jiva’s personal ignorance (avidya). The ego is such a sensitive thing, it can be the most painful to see it in those situations because the people close to us are meant to push our buttons!
Lee: There is certainly truth in letting go of the teachings to live life allow the practice to unfold (I am always reminded of Ramji saying this…). When the knowledge is strong it becomes a constant guide – and it does. When fear creeps in it certainly muddies the waters but it is temporary.
Sundari: Letting go of the teaching remnants means simply that you know you are the knowledge, there isn’t anything more to understand. One no longer puts the knowledge into practice as such because you are the practice, you are the knowledge. No need to ‘study’ the scripture anymore, though you will still find the greatest joy in contact with the scriptures because they are about you. We know many inquirers who get hung up on studying Vedanta, which you can’t do of course, for the same reason mentioned above.
Lee: I wonder though how we would know when we are close to removing the last bits of mental detritus…. I would guess when we are no longer triggered, the vasanas are exhausted…?
Sundari: Complete freedom at the point that the teaching remnants are dropping is tricky, which is why nididhysana is usually the longest and most difficult stage of inquiry. While it is firm knowledge that I am the Self and not the jiva, if there is still some residual part of the jiva program operating, freedom is not that free. Even the smallest bit of ignorance has a big price tag in terms of my happiness, a tiny bit of ignorance can and does trick the mind into identification with negative thoughts which are always projected onto others whom we see as the problem. And the result? Unhappiness. But there is never a problem outside of our thoughts. We are the problem if the jiva has sneaked back into the picture.
I said this recently to another inquirer: Freedom (happiness) comes down to one simple decision: Am I the Self or am I the jiva? I cannot be both. If I think I am the jiva I identify with its problems and I am unhappy. As the Self, I simply have no problems. To make that choice is always a possibility, and making it always transforms the situation and frees the mind from suffering.
When that choice is no longer a choice but the default position of the mind, you are free. And if the mind still plays a few tricks, you just watch it dispassionately, as a curious but unaffected observer.
Much love
Sundari
