There are two roads to take on the path of life. The first is the natural way, in which we follow our natural or instinctive inclinations. It’s the easy way. It asks little and encourages us to cling to our comfort zones. It is often a blinkered fear-based approach to life whose main aim is to avoid discomfort and to maintain security. Sadly, though this path seems attractive, it is not the most desirable way to go. Though it can seem sensible, often produces short-term comfort and apparent security, it erodes self-esteem and produces long-term dissatisfaction and insecurity.
People who take this path inevitably feel like they missed out on something and are always comparing themselves with others. Their minds become rigid and inflexible, their hearts filled with envy and judgment. Though their judgments are usually projected outwards, they are most judgmental of themselves. They tend to complain and get angry easily, either at other people or at their own sad realities, and this anger will play out passively or aggressively. They crave validation but blame others for whatever they feel is lacking. They don’t know when to say no or yes to what life demands of them and inevitably get them the wrong way around.
Emotions run their intellects and unresolved feelings fester under all their thoughts and actions. Their mental muscles are weak, as is their self-discipline; they are often attracted to dark passions which they hide behind a veneer of ‘normality’. The natural way requires little effort but also offers few rewards and many hidden costs. It is the way of a heavy rock rolling downhill. The rock damages many things on its path down, and eventually, smashes and disintegrates when it hits the bottom, which it always does.
The second path is the path of grace, and it is different. It’s harder because it involves giving up your comfort zone and trusting life. Taking the path of grace, the path less traveled, is like rolling that heavy rock up the hill. The tricky part is that if you stop paying attention or get distracted, even for a split second, the rock will immediately start rolling back down. Anyone who takes the path of grace has developed mental muscles which give them staying power and the enormous benefit of discipline. They have discovered real truth for themselves aligned with their highest values which gives them the strength they need to roll that rock uphill. It is truth they may be willing to die for, and certainly, a truth they want to live for. It’s an authentic personal truth but it is also deeply impersonal because it is a truth that is bigger than them.
People who choose the path of grace are not complainers or blamers. Their first response is to feel and express endless gratitude for their very existence, for every aspect of Creation that sustains them. They neither judge nor patronize anyone. Nor do they envy others or seek honour for themselves. They accept (or at least try to accept) everyone and everything as they are, with great love and compassion, knowing full well how hard it is to be human sometimes. Feeling love, feeling this fleeting precious life. Appreciating synchronicities in abundance, the suffering of human life, the unfathomable journey of the soul.
What helps them become their best selves and get through life’s toughest challenges is mental strength and the management of their emotions. They pay attention to three major things: the way they think, feel, and act. Thinking big by keeping their mind on the big picture instead of sweating the small stuff makes them feel good and gives them self-confidence. Even if they do not feel brave, acting brave helps them develop mental muscles. Of course, it takes practice, patience, and constant reinforcement, and that is why discipline is their main ally. They are disciples unto themselves. They adapt to the ever-changing nature of life without resistance and own their mistakes without self-recrimination or becoming identified. They know when it is appropriate to say no and to say yes and follow through on both.
They give thanks for the sun and the moon, the eyes of God watching over them, bonding ‘personal will’ with the greater good. Accepting what life hands out and leaving no trace of desire, like footsteps upon the sand as the tide washes it clean with every turn. Listening in the silence of their own hearts for guidance and preparing themselves every day for battle in the name of love once more.
Choosing the path of grace is hard, and walking it is even harder. In fact, it can be nearly impossible sometimes. But just knowing that the path of grace exists is enough to fill one’s heart with great joy, even though one may not yet be fully on it.
Once a person finds the path of grace in their heart, it can never be truly lost because you have entered the realm of love. Not as a feeling, but as your true nature. The world – however imperfect it may be – becomes rich and beautiful, consisting entirely of opportunities for love, even when things don’t go your way. You trust the Field of Existence to take care of all your needs and to give you what you need to grow. Your every act is an act of consecration to life. You know that there is no happiness without trust and gratitude, that the power of gratitude is a gift, not an obligation. It is the light that never fails to guide you when your path forward is uncertain, or the going gets tough.
The inclination to take the natural path, the path of least resistance, lurks at every corner. It is highly seductive and much recommended by the world which encourages us to make convenient bargains with our higher values. It’s a slippery slope if we are tempted, and before we know it, we have sold out. Most of us rarely do truly evil things, though most of us have evil thoughts at some point which can take us to places we really do not want to go. But perhaps the greatest evil we can do is to devalue our lives and ourselves daily in incrementally bad choices, especially ones we think are good for us because they make us feel safe. Death by a thousand small cuts. The saying by the philosopher Henry Thoreau that “most men live lives of quiet desperation is sadly, all too often, very true.
Eternity asks us only one question: have you lived your life in despair or in love? Despair is a sign of a life lived wrongly. You got it wrong, missed the point. You sold out. The problem is we cannot save our lives by never risking them. If you never risk anything, you take the greatest risk of all: a small life of ‘safety’, boredom, and dissatisfaction.
Between the natural way and the path of grace, there’s a deep gap, and it involves risk. It’s in the gap that we live our lives as a giant struggle between our highest and lowest self, between good and evil, despair and love. Whenever despair wins, it’s almost without fail the natural way. Whenever love wins, it’s a moment of grace. When love is victorious and defeats despair completely, you’ve reached the path of grace.
So, two roads diverge in life. Which one do you choose?
The choice is always ours. We are all driven by unconscious desires and motivations for which we cannot be blamed until we are conscious of them. The buck stops with us. It is always true that no one makes themselves the way they are, we are all shaped by forces beyond our control and born with certain tendencies and into our karma, good or bad. But knowledge of these forces makes it possible to manage our mind and to choose between what is easy and comfortable and what is uncomfortable and hard. Our values, the things that matter to us, will light our way, and inform all our choices.
The place to start is investigating what we value most and to chart our path accordingly, trusting that the Field of life is essentially benign and has our best interests at heart.
Love is the Light and the only way, always.
Sundari
