Dear Henry,
I’m not sure why you decided to troll me last night. We had our doubts about you a few years back because of that sex link you sent. Did you inadvertently include a link from a porn site and then cook up the unlikely story that you sent the email from a public library and somebody surreptitiously used your address to promote a porn site because you were ashamed? I gave you the benefit of the doubt but I’m inclined to think that was probably a projection, although Sundari didn’t buy it from the get-go. It makes more sense too, particularly when you mentioned out of the blue last night about your 27 year old girlfriend, which is probably just another fantasy to convince people that you still have sex appeal. Your recent claim that you were going to bring your aging friend, Michael, who was obsessed with a young woman to Trout Lake to get him back on the spiritual wave length doesn’t add up either. Is your sex vasana causing you a lot of conflict because father time is having his way with you these days? Maybe you never found real love, for which sex is often a proxy.
I also don’t recall ever meeting you back in the day in India and if I did you obviously didn’t impress me spiritually or I would have remembered. I make a point of cultivating friendships with sincere, classy people. I find it very difficult to take you seriously any more, particularly since the topic last night was about character, the moral dimension of spiritual life. Totally inappropriate. Maybe you aren’t a troll after all. Maybe you are just completely clueless. It happens. People get lonely and join groups for the company. It’s OK to be lonely and it’s wise to solve the issue with Self inquiry but that display?
Also, how could you have read so many of my books and attended so many satsangs and shown some kind of personal bhakti for me and not know what ShiningWorld is about? We have been unfailingly polite and replied to your requests with care. You should know very well what non-duality is and the rules of satsang. Your attitude was completely inconsistent with karma yoga, which is entry level Vedanta. I know when a person has a sincere doubt. Perhaps you don’t even know what your question is.
The fact that you have been making donations makes me wonder. Normally, trolls don’t pay to troll. Are you really so desperate for attention that you are willing to confront me in public? Here’s a sample of the feedback I got.
“I thought you handled that troll very well when he attempted to undermine the tradition by equating himself to you by claiming he met you back in the day. After following his question about not feeling bliss with a back-handed insult that your right to teach and stand as awareness was invalidated by saying in essence that, “you and I are the same age and since I don’t know shit you can’t possibly know shit and that is why I doubt you and the teaching and am taking the piss out of you now.
My guess is that he can’t dissolve his identification with the Jiva because he is insecure and doesn’t feel good about himself. Anyway, I really enjoyed that exchange. Do you think my assessment is on track? Great satsang today. “
I wish you all the best, Henry. I gave you the benefit of the doubt but you aren’t qualified for this teaching and are no longer welcome in the satsang. It’s a waste of your time and mine. I’m happy to hear your side of the story if you want to email me, but do your best to be transparent. If it’s true just say, “I’m a pathetic old man with a raging self-insulting sex vasana.” It is never too late to grow. It’s never too late to find love. It’s never too late to grow up too. Thank you for the donations.
James