Dear Sundari
I hope you are fine, and I believe you are 🙂
Jiva’s life is wonderful, chaotic – strange, and funny; the mind/Maya is a mystery. Last Sunday, not the whole weekend, I could make it to James in Amstelveen. This was great and peaceful. It was really nice to be with people with the same orientations – Vedantins seem to be quite different and yet not 🙂
Since I’ve been going through sadhana alone for so long it was good to meet and be with others – the difference with worldly people is obvious – and the funny thing is that Vedantins are so nicely differently normal 🙂
I got myself a few books and could make a bit of a donation – finally. Something I wished to do for a long time and might be able to do soon again. So far, my work begins to pay off a bit better again, and if all goes as I wish I might make it to Spain – but if not, I’ll be fine too.
Sundari: Vedantins are strikingly different from ‘normal’ samsaris and yet not at all either. Jiva is jiva, and when you no longer take that as your identity and sanity prevails, you have no problem appearing as one. Vedanta is such an incredible teaching because there is no need to perfect the jiva, just negate it through understanding what it is and isn’t. It’s true that self-inquiry is a solitary process, yet it really does help to have satsanga with other Vedantins, we encourage people to have a Vedanta buddy or buddies.
C: To my Jiva, it is still quite unexpected to notice a good ‘chunk’ of tamas in him – in part because I feel/sense the natural ever-present sattva. It is alright because in spite of this stuffy business it doesn’t produce ‘psychological things’ anymore – or hardly. Rough moods don’t and cannot jam sadhana, but vice versa sadhana goes all the way, and half the time, not much thought – or effort – is needed to fight off, care for/destroy unwanted, useless ideas/notions; they never make it to formulations, if they pop up at all.
In fact, I can also see the beauty in the beast – so to speak. So, my fairly poetic mind has peace to offer in ‘hell’, although these words are too dramatic. Internally – in part, because James talked about ‘the ugly’ as well – I could see how much of the ‘demon’ is integrated and has done a good job just the same as did the more angel-like stuff/mind. Not being the guna’s has been, from the beginning, the very key, and I – even ‘as’ a Jiva – could not really identify with it. etc. but had to work it out, nonetheless.
I suppose we live in very rajasic/tamasic times – and the effect of this did not pass this jiva by; unnatural as it feels.
Sundari: As always, I enjoy the way you express yourself. Thank you for sharing how Self-knowledge unfolds the life of the jiva, and how much less troublesome it is. When Self-knowledge has negated the gunas you have no problem with them anymore, they are like burned ropes. They will still play out as they always do, nothing stops that.
But as you say, the psychological component no longer obtains, which effectively means they are ‘de-fanged’ and harmless. You can enjoy Maya without trying to change how it functions, with the full spectrum of so-called good and bad, beauty and the beast, doing its thing, never touching you. There is no hell but in the mind, and though the times we live in seem more hellish than ever, it’s the same hellish ignorance doing the rounds as it ever has.
C: Jiva is ruled by Isvara until it isn’t anymore, because it is no longer needed, un or subconsciously so. Jiva is opening up, somehow, internally, getting used to a clarity that is sort of new, yet known, and it’s like blinking my eyes to get used to so much light. It is Grace.
Sundari: The jiva construct belongs to Isvara and is part of the field of experience, but when the jiva is as good as non-existent for you, you are free of it, and thus free of Isvara too. And yet, at the same time, you are non-different from Isvara because Isvara is the Self. Knowing this is moksa and is definitely Grace. And you are right, the jiva must get used to being free of itself! How strange it is at first to find you have zero problem with the world!
C: Only jiva’s ignorance requires a god and god is ignorance, which cannot be; not really. Etc.
Sundari: True, if you are talking about the Dualistic idea of God. But if you know what God really is, that there is nothing but God because God (Isvara) is the Self, you cannot be free of God because you are God.
C: On my way home, I remembered a (very short) poem I wrote once for James, some 6/7 years ago I think – but I want to give it to you and you both actually to Self, to Isvara. It was, when I penned it down, not so clear but this sentence is still in use, so to speak – when I speak to Jiva or rather to rajas when, like a proto-doubt, vibing around a bit – a reflex.
(For Sundari & James)
For the Teacher.
It takes,
not
eternity –
but Me,
to understand.
Sundari: Thank you, short and sweet. Self-knowledge wipes out everything and the jiva rests permanently in the only security that exists for it – freedom from duality.
With much love
Sundari
