Mary: It is not good to hear that we must start at the beginning, but I am glad that I could see that the qualifications are not in place.
Sundari: The important thing to remember about self-inquiry is that it is not about studying Vedanta, signing on for a course, or getting a degree in nondual teachings. The scripture is a means of knowledge for the Self, and though the means itself must be put into practice and eventually discarded for Self-actualization to take place, the content is about you, the Self.
Self-inquiry is only difficult because the indoctrination and hypnosis of Maya are so persuasive for the jiva. Though we teach only the Self because the jiva is the Self, to shatter the hypnosis of duality (the identification with the jiva), is extremely counter-intuitive from the jiva perspective.
It’s like the jiva has been standing on its head its whole life and has been looking at life from that place–upside down. Nonduality corrects the reversal Maya imposes, but the jiva has normalized the abnormal, so finds the correction bizarre and threatening. Yet moksa, freedom from the jiva, is simply a return to ‘normal’.
But it’s far from easy, so the scripture is constructed in such a way as to address every layer of ignorance, and there are many. It’s like peeling an onion. The layers get subtler and subtler as Self-knowledge works on the mind. It is important that the sincere inquirer remain humble and patient, with the requisite faith in the teachings. What happens with most inquirers is that they do not realize the importance of following the methodology carefully and slowly. They are in a hurry and skip ahead too quickly. This always backfires. The teachings are progressive for a very good reason, as stated above, and previously: ignorance is tenacious and hard-wired.
If your foundations for self-inquiry are not what they should be, you will get stuck down the line because the jiva programming will trip you up. This is par for the course, do not feel bad about it. Most Western inquirers have this problem because as I mentioned previously, the Western mind is primed for quick results for everything. Instant satisfaction takes too long for the rajasic desire-driven Western mind wanting easy street.
Vedanta is the hardest thing you will ever apply yourself to. It seems so simple, but it is extremely subtle. Not only is nonduality counter-intuitive, but though self-inquiry requires ‘doing’, the doer itself must be negated. That is a tough one, hence the importance of karma yoga. I do not know if you read Ramji’s satsang of the 5:10:15 rule, I have attached it for you. Read it and contemplate it.
Mary: And you know? The Jiva that will start at the begging is not the same Jiva that started to study Vedanta… Start at the beginning is never start from zero.
Sundari: What is zero? The Self is zero because it isn’t a ‘thing’ yet it encompasses everything. The Native Americans see ‘the Great Spirit’ as they call it as a circle. In a circle, a zero, there is no separation. Repeated from our last exchange: Satya and mithya never meet because they were never apart. Self-actualization is like becoming a zero because nothing defines you except you. You define everything. Without zero, nothing makes sense. So don’t be afraid of zero.
Going to the beginning as an inquirer is not a failure, it is merely part of the process. Even highly advanced inquirers find that they need to do this at some point because some subtle but deeply buried samskara has evaded self-inquiry and must be cleaned up. Self-inquiry is never a linear process, most inquirers weave through the steps many times. As the Self, you are always free, but to actualize Self-knowledge you cannot be 99.9% free of the jiva because the .1% contains 99.9 of the not free jiva.
But that is not a problem because you as the Self don’t go anywhere. You are no less or more the Self before during or after moksa. Nothing gives that to you or takes it away. As I said to you before: the steps to ‘get there’ are the qualities of ‘being there’ because you are there. You are THE there. Some remaining illusions clinging to the conceptual jiva prevent freedom from the jiva and freedom for the jiva. Put your head down, apply the teachings and leave everything up to Isvara.
Mary: Now I must not think about satisfaction, but observe the qualifications. It is really helpful to see where is the “problem”.
Sundari: Yes, good for you. Trust Isvara completely and simply focus on strengthening all the qualifications until you are totally clear on them.
Mary: I will read once more the qualifications on Ramji’s book – how to attain enlightenment.
Sundari: I strongly recommend that you also sign on to do the three courses we offer online, beginner, intermediary and advanced. They are free and they cover all the material in all the books in the right sequence. Watch as many videos as you can. Check the website for satsangs.
Mary: Now I must understand how they will be in place… the qualifications. I suppose that I must observe the thoughts that appear on me and think about the qualifications when I observe these thoughts.
Sundari: The qualifications are clear and unambiguous.  Print them out for yourself and track yourself on them on a moment-to-moment basis. Don’t progress with the next step of self-inquiry until you are sure you understand all the qualifications and at least have a good handle on how they work out in your life. You have enough objectivity to see the patterns.
Mary: There is nothing else I can do, I suppose. I observe and practice karma yoga, ask for Isvara’s help… In fact, Isvara is responsible for it…
Sundari: Yes. See that you are not the doer, consecrate all thoughts/emotions, words, and actions to Isvara. Keep the mind on the Self, take a stand in Awareness as Awareness and practice the opposite thought on EVERY thought other than “I am the Self’.
And very importantly, make sure you have a daily devotional practice. Karma yoga and devotion are about a life lived in gratitude; they go hand in hand. You will not have a happy life nor will perfect satisfaction be possible without gratitude and devotion.
Lastly, learn to live the life of an Ant. See the second attachment to this email, it is a wonderful satsang by Ramji called ‘I am an Ant’, and it contains all you need to live life and be happy.
Much love
Sundari
