Dear Ramji,
I know you are always well but I hope your jiva is feeling as radiant as you looked when I saw you last.
Just a note to say firstly a big thank you for everything. Even though I know the thanks goes to Isvara, it’s nice to express this to you – so thank you. I am overwhelmed with gratitude for my teacher and this teaching. It always delivers just the right thing at just the right time. Every experience contains a lesson about my true Identity if I have the eyes to see it, meaning if the mind is clear enough to understand it.
I have simplified things lately, reduced activity, spent more time alone and taken stock of a few things. The clarity and purity of the mind has been more of an issue that I had realised. So much rajas backed by lots of tamas translating into an unsteady emotional mind incapable of firm self knowledge. I’ve heard you say it on recordings and in person many times but the penny has finally dropped that it’s the non-conforming lifestyle that is in the way of the fruit of freedom (I’m a slow learner when it comes to some things!) So this is now the work.
Intellectually I have a good grasp on Satya and Mithya but my lifestyle has to conform in every area for that knowledge to become firm. It’s hard to see where you’re wide of the mark when the basic approach to life is rajas/tamasic and Ignorance keeps cooking up ridiculous fantasies that I had already cleaned up my act (nope!). You can have an intellect capable of grasping quite subtle concepts but when the mind gets disturbed that knowledge deserts you like rats fleeing a sinking ship. Better go back to the start and create and maintain a lifestyle that nips mental disturbances in the bud before they create karmic problems.
On that, there is a great verse in the Gita which pertains to this. (2.62-3)
“If you dwell on sense objects, a fancy towards them arises. From fantasy desire is born. If you want objects, anger is inevitable. Anger creates delusion, and you can’t remember your purpose in life. If you can’t remember why you are here, you lose your discrimination, without which your soul dies.”
Having created a quieter, simpler situation lately, I am able to watch the mind more closely and I see the truth of Krishna’s words here. A bad or agitating thought will pop into the mind and I can see how, if left unchecked, this piddling little thought which at first doesn’t seem to have much force behind it snowballs and later comes out in seemingly unrelated self insulting impulses and actions.
Interestingly, the ego has a ready-made case for why that initial negative thought is true, especially if it is ‘about’ someone else who is wrong or who has wronged me in some way. And this provides a reason not to investigate the thought, let alone clean it up and send it back to God and take a stand as my true self. And then later on, seemingly out of nowhere—BOOOM!—some big fear or desire explodes out of the causal body and overwhelms the mind… all because this original little thought was given a pass.
I can see why this is grown up stuff. It requires total vigilance, ruthless honesty and discipline to shepherd the mind to the point where it is calm enough to assimilate the knowledge. I love that story you told of the monk who only had one pair of underpants who ended up with a wife, kids, house, the whole 9 yards. I can’t remember which recording it is on but would love to hear it again. It really speaks to this point well.
Maybe I’m just a little slow on the uptake due to the unruly mind and no doubt you have spoken to this point many times, but if you feel inclined to give some extra commentary on this, I would love to hear it.
Lots of love to you Ramji.
In eternal gratitude,
Ramji: This about says it all. Give yourself a nice pat on the back. You stuck with the teaching inspite of the ups and downs and now your head is screwed on straight. Good for you! Lot’s of love. Ramji