Finder: Oh, James, you are so welcome! I would love to give more but quit my job because of coronavirus and started a new job few days ago, but soon I will support you again!
I am so grateful for your teaching and Vedanta. It really starts working. I am much more sattvic, and all addictions started to relax and fade away – it’s just not so important anymore to smoke weed or have sex. I don’t care about being a yogic social outlaw, if my job is good or bad. I don’t care if I have a place to stay or if there is a better place, and on and on.
Isvara takes all the weight of my shoulders. I do my best, offer everything and try to give back, make a difference. It’s really crazy, I cannot describe it. I meditate again and train my body to handle Isvara’s stuff which he has loaned me for a time. I instantly recognize when the selfish power comes up. It is always when I am unhappy because I fall back into grabbing and forget to offer my actions, thoughts and feelings to Isvara.
I can clearly see that my natural discrimination power was right at Ganga Mira’s place. Most of the people had self-esteem and were locked onto the no-mind teaching. If the intellect gets a true knowledge it is satisfied and doesn’t ask anymore and this one question is gone forever. The mind cries, “Oh, Father, why have you left me?” Mind is just feelings bossing the intellect around, but it should be the intellect bossing the feelings, right? If good thoughts, good feelings, not bad feelings, bad thoughts, just karma swirling around in the subtle body somehow, making a mess there.
Ganga Mira says, “Don’t listen.” WTF? What an ignorant teaching. First of all, how did that mind become such a tyrant? Maybe one should teach that tyrant something about happiness. Isn’t this mind like a child? When he has a short break I tell him, “I know you want to be happy. I HEAR YOU. Let’s see what’s going wrong here.” The mind will be quiet and listen and will relax a bit. Those people don’t know anything but they think they are very cool. I was like them once.
My body is hurting, life is hard, job is ugly, I work for handicapped people and its pretty psychy – but – I am happy. I am already free and can do whatever I want, and I can also be happy with a job I don’t like, serving Isvara the best I can. And there is also no fear to quit and move on. Isvara will tell me when the time comes.
I quit my job two months ago, and started a new one, no money and risky, but I didn’t care at all and for the first time in my life I have no fear to just quit again; it’s crazy. If I want a job I love, I have to show Isvara with my actions that I am ready, and He will bring me to place where I can be happy. But for now I have to take care of this slowly dying woman, help her shit and piss, washing her, feeding her and all what there is to do. And even if she is shouting at me and giving me a hard time, Isvara put me there, and I do what has to be done. My happiness is not dependent on a nice job anymore.
Vedanta will be with me until my last breath, for sure. As you can see, I am overwhelmed by rajasic happiness today. I thank you so much for opening the door for me, such a blessing! I really hope to see you again, maybe Isvara will put coronavirus to the side, and we meet each other again.
I really love you, I listen to you every day, I only read Vedanta, hear Vedanta – anything else is just waste of time. I get emotional; this mail is already much too long. I am so overwhelmed by my Self these days. There is really nothing to get in samsara. I understand now that I am already free, was always free. I just have to do the work to actualize it more and more. Freedom has absolutely nothing to do with the world or circumstances. Slowly, but steady, every day a bit more freedom The sun comes out in the morning, and birds are singing, and the wind strives through the trees. Silent, ordinary peace. For the first time in life I really appreciate the fullness of just being myself, enjoying myself. And all that just because Isvara took me to a Montana redneck, named James Swartz, who is teaching that exotic Vedanta. ☺
Thank you. ♡