Hi Sundari
I hope you are well! I have a question with regards to Karma Yoga and when we should use it in our practice and when we shouldn’t. Based upon the Karma Yoga principle that ultimately, we should accept whatever happens to us as Prasad, even though this doesn’t always feel appropriate.
I will share some context in the first instance.
Example 1
I remember some time ago saying to James that I had feelings for a male work colleague and he felt the same way, but as I was married and he was too, plus my goal was Moksha, I didn’t think it was wise for me to follow my desire of having a relationship with this man. James mentioned that in this sort of situation that Karma Yoga doesn’t work and I have to “stand up to my desire”, which I did …even though it was painful!
Example 2 (
I know someone who finds himself and other people being bullied by a workmate, she and others have raised this with the individual and the manager but they don’t want to do anything about it and even suggested she leave the company. She told me it is making her feel miserable and that she has been accepting the situation from the bully as Prasad and is continuing with the course. I told her that I had a similar situation at a job I ended up quitting and mentioned that it is not wise to use Karma Yoga in this situation as it is adharmic and maybe she should strongly consider leaving the course. (I am far from being a Vedanta teacher, but thought the advice would help, as it helped me)
With both of the above examples, the red thread is that both situations involve adharma. As such, is the golden rule for when Karma Yoga doesn’t work, and are there other contexts when one should not apply Karma Yoga to one’s life and take a different course of action? And if so what would that action be?
Would love to know your thoughts on this please Sundari.
Thanks
Sundari: Good to hear from you again, I am very well, thank you! I hope you are too. Well done for standing up to the dangerous and powerful snake of desire, that could not have been easy. But if you had given in to its seduction, the blowback karma would have been even worse. It’s a zero-sum chasing desire, especially desire that is opposed to dharma! Not to mention that it would have derailed your desire for moksa, at least in the short term.
Regarding the second issue, it is indeed about dharma and adharma. There is never a case that it is Ok to normalize abuse, adharma. Allowing abuse to continue is adharmic. Karma yoga is about two things: appropriate response and surrender of results, taking what comes with equanimity. That said, the correct response to Isvara in any situation does not necessarily mean taking everything on the chin no matter how unpleasant. There are definitely times when we need to fight back, as Krishna advised Arjuna on the battlefield. We see that now playing out on the world stage between Putin and Zelensky with the war in Ukraine. Zelensky said no, will not take it, no matter the odds against us.
It takes courage and is not easy to fight back, especially when you do not have a warrior nature and you are up against a seemingly protected and formidable foe. Nonetheless, in the situation with your friend, why not rally support and refuse to take the abuse, especially since others are also affected by just one individual making everyone miserable? Make a noise, insist on disciplinary action for the troublemaker, refuse to shut up? The squeaky wheel gets the grease as James says. Those in charge will have to respond if the pushback is strong enough.
There are no easy answers to this, but bullies should not be allowed to continue their abuse because even they are getting harmed by their own abuse. Everyone gets abused when abuse is allowed to continue. Bullies are always cowards who know how to manipulate with fear, and the more fear they instill, the worse is their abuse. But call their bluff and they tend to run for cover. So, my advice would be to not give up, get support and fight back.
However, if the situation is such that your friend truly cannot or will not take a stand and fight back because she cannot and that is not in her nature, then the only option is to leave, as inconvenient as that may be.
Much love
Sundari
