James: Dear Terry, sorry I was a little hard on you. I’m not giving up on you. However, our relationship should give me as much pleasure as it gives you. I get off seeing people grow spiritually as a result of their understanding of Vedanta because it radically changes one’s life. It did mine and you can see from the testimonials on the website that it deeply affects many people.
What substantive difference have our emails had, Terry? Has your life changed for the better? It’s very hard to get a read on you. On one hand you say that everything is fine, that you understand the teachings and that they are helpful, but the same question(s) come up over and over. It’s fine to contact me if you really get stuck. In fact you should maintain contact with the teacher through all three stages of Vedanta. At some point you become the teacher and then the need to outwardly communicate dissolves. Or if it is Isvara’s will you become lifelong friends free of need. Of course the affection for the teacher never ends.
So the idea in Vedanta is to make you into your own guru and remove your doubts yourself. How do you do that? You look at what you think and feel on a moment-to-moment basis and you evaluate your experience with reference to the fact that you are the Self. So the purpose is to take a stand in awareness until your mind surrenders to you, awareness, and becomes quiet and satisfied. A teacher should inspire you to take control of your own mind, so I feel like a failure, which makes me conclude that I’m not qualified to teach you. The teacher’s job is to make you independent, not act as a lifelong support. My guru was very blunt. These were his words: “I’m not interested in your problems. You are the problem. So sit down, shut up and pay attention. I will have you out of here in no time because you are using valuable time that others can use.” Of course at the beginning you need to depend on the teacher but your confidence in yourself should steadily grow. Thanks so much for the donation, Terry. It is very helpful.
~ Love, James