You Are Never Not the Self

Hi Sundari,

Thank you for the satsang on Zoom.  Nididhysana … The last few weeks ‘taking a stand in awareness’ got a whole lot clearer. ‘The taking’ part fades, the standing is already. That fading isn’t over. The fangs are out, notwithstanding its multiple creepers. All is Isvara. Jiva sees, or better understands what surrender, giving and giving up means, why/how it works. 

Sundari: Good to hear from you again, and happy to hear that the Knowledge is unfailingly working for you. Yes indeed, the stander stands without standing even when the ‘fading’ is a work in progress.  You are never not the Self, no matter what.

C: It is quite funny to know/see/be, me and seeing jiva not being completely aligned let’s say. For him the finetuning is effort – for me it is knowledge.  This has everything to do with ‘the doer’, more than anything else. But… So far so good 🙂 and step by step – and it’s the knowledge that does the work, really, and always.

Sundari: Yes indeed! Only Self-knowledge can do the work, as you say, step by step, thought by thought. Remember that the steps to ‘get there are the qualities of being there”, which means you are always aligned with the Self even when your (not) self apparently is not.

C: A notion, thought, came with all this; it is not being for or against Isvara/God – but with Isvara. ‘With’ meaning independent. Each factor – so to speak, and for a few moments jiva got to see. I saw through jiva’s eyes; it saw through Isvara’s eyes. Isvara as me, and as an ally, a friend – well, collapsing categories 🙂 quite a beautiful ‘destruction’.  Some writing came out of this; in a sketch state, in were, and how, negating glows as a positive. 

Sundari: If you are with Isvara you have dissolved duality because Isvara is the Self, and so is the Jiva. Ultimately there is no seer because the Self sees only itself. When we see as Isvara sees, we see as the Self appreciating the reflection of ourselves in all apparent objects. The important takeaway is to understand that the Self, being nondual, makes seeing (paying attention) possible but the Self is not a ’seer’ in the sense we understand that word. It can never be localized. It would be more appropriate to say that the Self, seeing only itself, is that which knows the seer with reference to the seen only when Maya is operating.  The Self-aware Self appears as a seer. But it never actually is a seer, unless seeing refers to its own Self.

C: Last weekend the words and presence of Self, in the form of James … the very stillness in and of all, well, you know what I mean. The words count, are meaningful, functional, etc. and it isn’t the words, which make it rather round and not ‘off’. Like ‘hi and goodbye – as fullness. There are better words to say this, but the/my quietness just made it obvious. 

Sundari: I know what you mean.  All words ultimately fail when describing the Self because all words are mithya. The Is-ness of Self has no words, it just is.

C: It is very good to hear what you said in the satsang, it helped to sink it in – keep it. The ‘creepers’ may not be real – but … 

Sundari: Thank you, the creepers are Isvara too!

Much love

Sundari

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